Moon and Raven

Long time, no see

2010-11-08T23:20:00.003Z

Hullo O Vast Blogosphere,

It has been but a long time since we've spoken. O how I have missed your camaradery.

What new? Well, I'm single; I'm studying Religious Studies rather than Philosophy now; I'm now attuned in SKHM healing; I live in a house that's not falling apart; one the whole, though, I'm rather darned happy.

So... that's the update. Now onto Pagan stuff. Yay!

Pagan Society's Saṁain rite was performed by Pagan Soc's and the Students' Union's ex-President Ben Allen, and my old housemate Laura Ross. Within the rite was a short meditation, the details of which I forget, but involved meeting a being at the base of a tree. The being I experienced had the “feel” of a person around their mid-30s to mid-40s in human terms, was made of black smoke, and had an angel-like wingspan of raven wings. He also had a single eye (not that he had any physical features, but I got the impression of being looked at with a single, present eye).

I came to the conclusion that that being was Óðinn.

I can't remember exactly if there was a message given per se, but what I feel was that it was a gesture of being present, that is, showing themselves to me.

Hours before I had invoke Óðinn as psychopomp to make the worldly transitions of the departing and returning souls easier.

This would be the first time that I had fully and formally invoked Him in a solitary sense.

The form presented, however, I find hard the interpret. I wonder what you think?

Lessons learned from a Lama.

2009-07-17T10:42:00.011+01:00

There are many things you can learn from a Lama, including:
Number one - it's always good to know the courtersies of a different religion (learn the mantric greeting meant to be given to a Bön lama rather than go "Merry Meet, Rinpoche...").
Number two - it's possible to be a spiritual teacher and have a good sense of humour ("You live in microwave culture! Everything so fast... your spiritual searching are like a a greasy plate and a dry sponge - but I am the Ecover liquid and the warm water!"). On Tuesday, I sat in on a question/answer session with Lama Khemsar Rinpoche (second from the right), a Bön lama and the spiritual director of the Tibetan Yungdrung Bön Study Centre and his students. He's a very interesting and wise fellow. He first spoke of a few interesting points to do with his teachings - he called them drub-dhe (or, the meditation school) which is in contrast to the monastic school, _____-dhe (I can't for the world remember the Tibetan for it).

Drub-dhe is the very practical version of the spiritual path. It's the difference between those who go into University and carry on being research fellows and those who go out into the world and do manual work, raise families and support the society's infrastucture. Those in the monastery debate, philosophise, talk a lot and just work things out from the canons, texts and practices. The drub-dhe are those who go to a teacher/lama/guru, get taught the practices, learn everything the master can give and then go back out in the world. They have spouses, children and so on, but they are the ones that practice. They do the rituals every day and night. They really go out into the world and make a difference. Rinpoche said that there is little to no merit in the monastic life and that drub-dhe is the really the main way you're gonna go forward on a spiritual life (I enquired about the fact that the Bön tradition have monasteries, and a devotee just said it was all down to culture and habits. They've had monasteries for centuries and old habits die hard). This is where I feel Bön and Buddhism seem to differ; particularly in the Theravadan schools, the monastic sangha are seen to gain the most merit and are more likely to attain enlightenment because their lives are devoted to the practice but Bön puts the same emphasis on practice but on a more practical level. It's by far more pragmatic to the practitioner to be able to combine the mundane life with the spiritual rather than discarding one for the other.

Rinpoche's description of the practical school really sunk in as to what Paganism really was about. We are people who in some way or other (thanks mainly to Druidry and Gardner) see ourselves as priest(esse)s. I know very few completely lay Pagans in the traditional term. Most know and can lead rites, all perform home rites, all perform magic in some form, whether subtle or blatant, known or unknown but none of us spend our lives in a monastic setting we are just priest(esse)s. Some of us hire people to perform rites like weddings and baby namings or the seasonal celebrations. With the former, it's rather hard to marry your wife and be the priest; baby namings are done either with a hired clergy or just by the parents themselves and not all rites require outside help. With the Lampeter and Carmarthen crew, the Master of Ceremonies changes and even then the role of that person is to welcome and to thank, to make sure the rite runs smoothly. It's usually the person of the most experience or the host - all pragmatic. It's not someone who happens to have some privilidge because of training unless in you are a member of a tradition.

In medieval and celtic societies, you may have turned to the local cunningman, the local witch, the local druid for help, but now, we are all witches and cunningfolk and druids and priest. We can do the spells ourselves. Some people do it better than others but again, that's just how life is. Some are natural magicians, born psychics and witches, but we're all magicians in some respect.

And I like that. We're all drub-dhe; our practices seem to be only an extension of our mundane existence and a means to experience the world at a different angle and I rather think it should remain like that.

What was the important teaching though? Practice! Both magical and mundane. And religious practice should have the adherents immersed in the practices and rites. Ritual and magic should be second nature and as normal as making a cup of tea and not chores. I haven't gotten to that level yet, but every morning, I try to meditate and do a small rite; if it's the full moon, I try to go out and appreciate it; I imbue my food with intent and magic - every herb has a purpose and reason.
The mundane stuffs matter just as much. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle; buy organic and/or local; buy ehtically; support green issues; Save the Whales; grow veg or herbs; make wine or ale or mead; cook fresh; use Ecover; love the earth; use public transport; make food using seasonal stuff; attune to the cycles and seasons. The mundane is just as, and sometimes more, important than the magic.

Magical problems?

2009-07-04T11:00:00.005+01:00

Just a short one for today.

Now why is it that Pagans are able to erect a magical barrier which can exclude unwanted beings for entering; can dance around circles and raise such a large amount of mana/magic that when sent off, it can almost do anything (such as Gardner/Crowley/Whoever protecting the British Isles in during the Second World War); we can make a simple Witch's Bottle that, when burried, will protect a house; that we can make a staff of hawthorn that can mend the most broken of hearts - but we still can't do the supposedly simple task of levitating pencils?

I think we need a real-life Willow...

Avebury

2009-07-01T22:03:00.011+01:00

So... Avebury was good.

We got there on time, around 12pm, but the place was already heaving full of people (left) there for the solstice experience. I was quite surprised with the group of people who were there. I'm quite used to the OBOD-type druidic events, where the people are quite ordinary (!), intellectuals and artist types, but Avebury and general Pagan events tend to attract the real hippies and hairies and general bizarre peeps.

Most of the people when we got to the pub were already pissed and rambling about whatever it was they were rambling about (one was talking about waiting to be taken back to the mothership...). There were people placing their hands on concrete posts, attuning to the energies. It was quite surreal.

Even though we got there in good time, parking was awful (as predicted), but Will Rathouse managed to get the National Trust to get the police to allow us to park the minibus locally (as the NT had height barriers in place) and so we were able to wander around without worrying about Will needing to walk a good couple of miles from the other car park.

We were then supposed to join in the open ritual of the Gorsedd of the Bards of Caer Abiri, but they were nowhere to be found (and we looked around the stones and at the usual meeting place!) so we ended up sitting within the main area of the stones and drank sparkling rosé and ate strawberries (and, as an aside, we cleared up. The same can't be said for the majority of the peeps there - bloody pagans!) while we listened to Will telling us the Tale of the Physicians of Myddfai (right). It was quite a wonderful experience. It's quite a feeling to be within this temple once used by our ancestors. I wondered, whilst there, if this place was used for the purpose the priestly caste being earthly psychopomps. Many of the sites around here seem to have some focus on death or burial (West Kennet Long Barrow, maybe Silbury Hill etc.) and it does, in a way, have that Graveyard kinda feel - that detached peaceful sensation.

After our brief luncheon, we set off to visit the town a little - we went to cafés, raided the souvenir shop (I bought *laods* of books and a celtic knotwork ring for Kay) before setting off for some of the places such as Overton Hills and The Sanctuary. The former appear to be small versions of Silbury Hill and The Santuary is thought to be a (former) wood-henge where preliminary rites would be performed before traversing the Avenue to Avebury. Liz seemed to be taken by The Sanctuary.

Finally we ended up at the Long Barrow, passing Silbury Hill on the way. I plucked a piece of Elder on the way and, with some local chalk, peeled the bark off before turning it white intended as an offering when I got there.

However, when we got there, we saw a smashing crop circle!

The Barrow was interesting. Now, with burial places (mostly dolmens and certain graveyards), I tend to get an uneasy feeling of something/one not wanting me there but with the Long Barrow, I had that same feeling I got in the Avebury circle; of detached peacefulness. It was lovely. There were people inside meditating, candles had been lit, gifts given over (bunches of cereals and flowers) - and some birds were nesting inside!

Again, it was lovely. Such a nice place. We pretty much went home after that. Will dropped me off in Llanelli (really nice thing to do, tbh...) and they al lwent back to Lampeter.

So yes, Avebury was lovely; a nice way to spend the Solstice, if not surreal.

UWL Pagan Society at West Kennet Long Barrow '09
We're so sexy...

Zach proving we were there...

The June Rush

2009-06-17T19:33:00.004+01:00

What a month this is turning into! So much happening in closeness with each other.

Next weekend is Midsummer. The solstice; when the sun is at his full glory in this part of the world (just a nod to our colder cousins, down south).
While normally I would join in a rite with the Carmarthenshire folk, Will Rathouse asked if we were planning a trip to Avebury in Wiltshire. Organising the event, it feels wrong not to attend so it seems this year, Midsummer will not be with my friends, but with another lot instead. I did attend the ritual planning, though I'm wondering if this was a faux pas - after all, what rite did I have contributing to something that has nothing to do with myself, but rather, should've been one for them? I guess I miss seeing them; the moots are an impossibility to attend while in Uni'. I have to admit though, that recently I've been assessing the way I am with them. I quite loud, crude, opinionated and tackless around them, so I think some change is probably at hand.

With Avebury, we'll be setting off at around 8am to get there by 11.30 where we'll go visit West Kennet Long Barrow and Silbury Hill, both burial chambers, as far as I know. We'll have lunch and then go on to the Annual Gorsedd Ceremony which'll be held by whoever happens to be there (it's been variously Arthur Pendragon, Bobcat et al.) after which we'll go visit other places nearby, hopefully leaving at 5pm to get home by 8.30pm.
Not quite sure if we'll be able to see the Gorsedd ceremony, however, as it may happen the day before, but we'll see. We could strike lucky - or even do our own impromtu rite! I'm looking forward, anyway - And I'll be with the Midsummer right in Gorslas in heart, if not in body.

And after all that, there's the moot on the 25th and Susan's Fire workshop on the 27th. There's a lot to do!

Gastronomy

2009-06-06T13:17:00.005+01:00

After having a meal in the Cwmanne with Erin and talking about poetry, I wrote a new poem, after the gods know how long...
It originally started as a food poem:

La Gastronomie!
Food. Everyone needs food;
It is the weakness of hunger,
The strength of a fine feast!
And, though much of a pleasure,
It shall always be a glorious art.
As synonymous as the words seem,
Pleasure is the danger of art -
Its culmunation often mischanneled.
To lose oneself in art is pleasure
but therein lies its frightening danger -
To lose oneself and never come back.
Paul Rousselle Jun'09

However, understandably, Erin recommended only keeping the following, so there it is:

Gastronomy
Pleasure is the danger of art -
Its culmunation often mischanneled.
To lose oneself in art is pleasure
but therein lies its frightening danger -
To lose oneself and never come back.
Paul Rousselle Jun'09

Change! Now!

2009-06-01T02:56:00.006+01:00

Damnit, it would be good to be able to work with a group and perform/channel/direct magic for useful and world changing purposes.

How many Pagans are against deforestation?
How many are against whaling?
How many are against tyrants in Africa?

And where are the groups working serious magic in order to bring positive and meaningful change.

Far too many times have I heard lines such as "I'm gonna do a small ritual for a good exam result", "I need more money - better get the corn dollies out" - but when it comes to real, serious stuff, it's almost as though people are scared of their repective karmas; scared of actually being able to change things.

Individual people can do things - but how much better, how much more powerful would it be to have groups doing this?

Spells for peace?
Rites for democracy?
Circles for fair government?

All alongside ordinary mundane action, of course.

A rite what I wrote...

2009-05-28T01:24:00.003+01:00

So... the general idea a few weeks ago was to have a rite on or around the June full-moon as a final group ritual for the year with the purpose of being one focused on protecting the Site over the summer' showing out gratitude to the Spirits of Place and blanketing/grounding its energies while we're away.

And after a couple of weeks... still no-one really did anything so... I wrote a rite! Tell me what you think! It's definitely not perfect, and it was typed out in about half hour/three quarters of an hour.

Roles: Firekeeper; Warden; Herald; Circle Guardian; Elements.

For the altar: Pot of sea salt; cup of mead; cup of apple juice; plate of food to share; bowl of water; cauldron of incense; incense; horn.

-Preliminary-

(Those not involved in the above are gathered at the bottom of the north bank involved with the final banter before the start of the rite, or in personal meditation.)

(Circle Guardian and/or Firekeeper prepares wood for, and lights, fire and tends to it whilst the Circle area is properly prepared by those involved in the creation of Sacred Time/Sacred Space. Warden consecrates sea salt and casts circle.)

-Starting the Rite-

(Facilitator or Warden blasts a sound of the horn)

(Warden comes from the Circle to the bank and guides the celebrants in a short procession, then taking the position at the entrance shall individually challenge each participant)

Warden: [Name], do you release all ill will?
Participant: I release all ill will.
Warden: Then welcome to this Circle!

(Participants enter after the challenge and take one’s place. Warden seals circle with appropriate sigil.)

-Sacred Space-

Warden: We are in Sacred Time and Sacred Space.

Herald: We have come from the North and the South, the East and the West to this Special Place. Long has this Circle stood, and long may it remain – as such is the purpose of our gathering for we have come to celebrate it existence and bid it farewell as we leave for these summer and autumn months. May the Rite begin!

Let us call forth to the Quarters!

East: Come to us from the East, O Air; bring to us inspired Words upon your swift golden wings!

All: Hail and be welcome!

South: Come to us from the South, O Fire; bring to us fiery Will through the passion of your vigor!

All: Hail and be welcome!

West: Come to us from the West, O Water; bring to us flowing Intuition riding with your surging tide!

All: Hail and be welcome!

North: Come to us from the North, O Earth; bring us stable Foundation embedded within your hardened stone!

All: Hail and be welcome!

Herald: Let us call upon the Spirits who call this place home.

Firekeeper: By Land, Sea and Sky, we call upon the Spirits of this Place. You have resided here longer than we can imagine and you have allowed us to use this Special Place for our rites and magic. We have gathered in your tribute, to praise these woods, to honour this site and to protect it from those who damage and desecrate it. We come to bid you our farewells as we travel in these summer and autumn months.

Come, Fair Folk, and rest at the fire’s side and join us at the edge of magic. Accept this mead as libation!

(Firekeeper cast mead into the centre of the fire)

-Main Rite-

Herald: Let us rest in Sacred Space and share our gratitude, appreciation and love for this site.

(All relax and begin pseudo bardic circle as suggested above and community sharing)

-Protection-

(Warden goes in front of altar facing north and takes the pot of salt and goes around to each participant. Each takes a portion of the salt – enough is left for Warden to have three odd portions)

Herald: In your hands, feel the salt that you hold – appreciate it for what it is. This is consecrated Earth taken from the Sea and dried by the Air. If there is any substance which can consecrate, protect and ground, is it not this salt?

Take it and cast it to the ground around you – know that through this act, you are consecrating this Circle and protecting it, but also that you are grounding the energies during our absence.

(All cast the salt about the land around them while the Warden takes the remainder and walks around the Circle pouring the salt while the Herald says the following)

Herald: May the Circle be Blessed and Concecrated! May the Circle be Protected and Cared For! May its energies be grounded!

Now let us make an end of this Rite and take leave of this place.

-Unwinding Sacred Space-

Herald: Let us thanks the Spirits of Place for their help in this rite.

Firekeeper: We thank you for your attendance, O Spirits of Place. You are shall be fondly remembered in our hearts as we depart forth to our homesteads. Stay in this land and we supplicate you help us keep this Special Place protected!

Leave our rite, and leave with the love of our hearts and with the peace of our spirits. We thank you, O Spirits of Place.

Herald: Let us release the Quarters!

North: Return to the North, O Earth; we thank you for your Foundation in this rite.

All: Hail and farewell!

West: Return to the West, O Water; we thank you for your Intuition in this rite.

All: Hail and farewell!

South: Return to the South, O Fire; we thank you for your Will in this rite.

All: Hail and farewell!

East: Return to the East, O Air; we thank you for your Words in this rite

All: Hail and farewell!

-Ending the Rite-

Herald: May the energies be left dormant; may this site be protected; may the Spirits feel the conviction and gratitude of our gathering.

Let us take leave of this place and remember our times here fondly. May we return again in the autumn season. Hail and farewell, all!

(Warden removes the seal)

Warden: Follow me, into the world of the Mundane.

(Warden leads the participants in a silent procession out to the north bank and homebound then returning to unwind the circle; all remaining aid with the clearing of the Circle – then onwards to pub!)

Elements of Magic - Air

2009-05-19T11:05:00.003+01:00

Susan and Pinky have recently started organising Elements of Magic workshops to

"deepen your relationship to each element and sharpen your witchy skills – learn some new ones!"

The blurb goes on to say

"in each class we will study one element in depth, deepening our understanding of and relationship to the element. We will learn and develop new skills such as breathing techniques, energy work, voice work, trancework, visualisation, healing techniques and much more."

Now for Air, I was only able to catch possibly the last couple of hours (they last 6hrs) but I learned some useful skills nonetheless. Importantly, I had the opportunity to practice my vocal skills, if only in a comical fashion by learning the Seven Sacred Voices - now granted, we all know most of these, however, to be working with them like this was rather different to just knowing they exist. Those were:

The Silent Voice
The Whisper Voice
The Normal Voice
The Loud Voice
The Yell Voice
The Chant Voice
The Song Voice

The Silent Voice was perhaps the most bizarre. Rather than air coming through the vocal chords, one must produced a

"... deep vibration in the chest as close to the heart chakra as one can manage."

It almost sounds like the deep chants the Tibetan clergy do, but even then you can still hear voice. One should feel this vibration but mouth the words rathen then hear what one says. Most difficult.

To practice for the others, we took a nursery rhyme and practiced each with with it (I changed from Humpty Dumpty to a Pagan chant to a Buddhist chant, just to see the difference). and admittedly, it was an eye opening session on how one can use one's voice for magic workings; one I shall be paying attention to much more.

Another useful skills we were taught was using our associations with the elements to really make a call to that particular element/quarter. Usually, I simply jot down a few poetic workds without really thinking of the implications of what I am calling. Why call the Hawk rather than the Robin? Why the Birch rather than some other tree? Why invoke its breeze aspect rather than the whirlwind (I'll explain below)? And why some attributes rather than others?

Susan invited us to jot down what we conceived Air to be, and then work a call from that, so here's what I did:

"Intellect, sharp-wit, inspired voice, whirlwind, voice, roar-in-a-chimney, scent, Birch, Hazel, rustling leaves, winds of change.

I glance towards the Eastern Quarter, to the place of the whirlwind's fury where the Robin glides at the glow of the sunrise.
We hear you in the rustling of the birch; we smell you in the sweet bloomin of spring; we feel you in the roaring of the tempest.
Air; we ask that you give us your sharp wit and the magic of your inspired voice - come to us with your words riding upon swift golden wings.
Hail and be welcome."

Now - why did I choose some of it's more fearful aspects rather than the softer ones? Am I calling trouble? Not neceserally.
I feel in a way that in creating a protective/containment circle, one can either strengthen it or add to it through the elements, so the circle, I give it the fury of a whirlwind emanating from from East.
I use the Robin as a personal animal at the moment, and one that is abundant in the woods in Lampeter. The 'sense' calls are based on associations also: the Birch - tree of new beginnings, light in colour, thin, delicate etc.; spring, the time of the emerging Sun, where freshness and newness is abundant; the tempest - self-evident.

A call to inspiration is one that is needed in a rite where things can go wrong, but also is good as a general magical power and sharp-wit (the bardic/jester power) allows for us to make light a situation is it is needed, and to aid us in the release of the elemental powers - should they not wish to leave.

That said, I'm rather happy with that call, even if it is mediocre at bests. Next workshop is next month, and shall be on Fire.

Blessed be!

And now for a short break.

2009-05-18T20:41:00.003+01:00

It's gonna be a busy week. I've got two exams (Ethics and An Introduction To The Self And Metaphysics) and straight after the last one on Wednesday, I'm going straight on the bus home to primarily see Kay, and stay there until the 27th-28th.

Time to relax, time to really push Lampeter at the back of my mind. I adore the place, but I need an escape too; but most importantly, some time to make up for almost neglectful amount of time I've spent with Kay. So yeah.

Once I get back, there's be Council, Forum and (hopefully!) sorting out the house issue - I may be sharing a house (above the funeral directors) with Cate, Willow and Rachel. Good size rooms, reasonable pricings. nothing's definite there, but we'll see.

Roll on Wednesday!

... in with the Goddesses.

2009-05-18T04:47:00.003+01:00

Whilst never having having had a personal link with any deity, I mused about how it would be to be totally consumed by a deity - something along the lines of William James's Passivity: "... the mystic feels as his own will were in abeyance, and indeed sometimes as if he were grasped and held by a superior power." (James, William, The Varieties of Religious Experience, p. 381).

Ah, I love control! I so adore being at the back seat yet pulling the reigns - but to give oneself up to a Goddess!

Erin mentioned once that the energies of Lilith were fully and wholly consuming, in utter submission.

So here's a few lines I wrote, haphazardly, to Ol' Lily... see if she answers!

"Surround me wholly in the whirlwind of your starless night.
Consume me completely in the ego-destroying forces of midnight -
Owl-woman; desert tempest; shadow mistress."

Out with the old...

2009-05-18T04:32:00.004+01:00

I've had a strangely cathartic experience, which most of your oldies may find a little trivial.
I was going through my Windows Live Messenger contacts list and, as it was far too cluttered and long, I decided to delete old contacts who I hadn't spoken to in years or months, or redundant e-mail addresses.

And it came to a folder with three e-mails. Each other them were of the Pretty family; that of my ex, Connie. And as I don't talk to them, I deleted them.

Thought I'd share that here.
It was a strange feeling. Pressing the 'delete' button can be just as satisfying and as emotionally uplifting as riping up an old letter or photo.
Which I did also. I don't quite know why - I wasn't screwed over (in any proper sense) so. I just guess it's my way of dealing with it - even if it was almost two years ago. It still left its mark, however; I yet have to over come certain weights and scars it left.

Though, in a strange way, it was a bizarre means of 'letting go', if the term can be used. I horde, I keep, I never forget; and here was one way of doing so.
So, good-bye.

Site and Circle

2009-05-14T11:24:00.009+01:00

Lampeter is a strange place.
It attracts a unique and bizzare group of people; most or all have emotional (and mental...) issues to sort and as such, this place can make or break you and if you can hack it, it can really be a healing place for you. Such is the group of people here, that at one time, the biggest and most successful of the University's societies was the Pagan Society - how in Eartha's name does that happen?!
This year though, the group's pretty small, but nevermind.

In the mid-to-late 90s, the University gave them permission to use some of the land that the university would use for the dumping and burning of rubbish. They (and it seems one of those people was an old initiate of Carole's) built a ritual Circle. Circle is within the Site, as its called, which is the immediate land surrounding it - it's withing a dip in the land. It seems to have changed over the years - from more of an egg-shape to a circle; different entrances; the building of an altar a few years ago etc. And I want to share this place with you:

You can see the North entrance there with the firepit and altar. If you look to the left of the entrance, there is a holly tree - this would be used as our 'Clootie Tree'

The 'Clootie Tree'.

Two entrance perspectives. In relation to the bottom picture, there is a means of access on the left in makeshift, studen-built steps.

The Site in spring. The Circle is behind.

During Imbolc.

Hmm.

2009-05-14T01:24:00.001+01:00

I need more blogger friends...

Alas!

I know few...

The Curse complete with damp and mildew.

2009-05-13T20:56:00.006+01:00

The UWLampeter Pagan Soc 'Library' has been found, located, sorted and filed! I should be a Virgoan.

It was at 2 Station Terrace within a nuclear bunker built to 1970s government regulations (that would be, two doors leaned at a 45 degree angle against a wall...). As such it was kept in the damp and the books and papers are covered in mildew. So it seems I'm in possesion of the curse, as it's affectionately (or fearfully!) called. It seems most of the books were sold off at some point (though that's been denied, I found a scrunched up piece of paper with the prices of the books to be sold... ho hum!) so there's a few notable ones. Not *bad* books per se, left; but not the ones you'd expect. The papers themselves are interesting showing things like the budget they had (four times what we have now) and troubles they had etc., also they have some newsletters of old, like the one Carole used to edit called 'Gates of Annwn' and there's also 'Drops of the Awen' which is the seriously old version of 'Myddle Earth' along with a 'Wiccan' (now 'Pagan Dawn') and 'Wood and Water' and so on. So yeah. Some pretty neat things.

I'm hoping to add to the box of books, and maybe to revive the society newsletter (which I've found old copies of). The old society newsletter provide some cool insight into how things were run and how popular it actually was (more than 6 people used to turn up to rituals! Shock!) and what the positions entailed - Site Guardian was a far more important position than I used to realise. Talking of which, I'll need to contact the Estates Officer to find out the university stance and the status of the Circle and the Site. It seems it's under review every 5 years...

Ho hum. Boing post, but there you go.

And a love-life update...

2009-05-12T03:40:00.004+01:00

Just a small update regarding a few posts back - the day Kay and I met up again, she ended up asking me out and we've been together since so... yeah. That was an interesting day. We've been together two months last Wednesday.

To be honest, it was quite a roller-coaster at first; from not seeing/talking each other at all to going out but things have now calmed down somewhat. We try to see each other as often as is conviniently possible - she came down on Thursday to attend the UWLampeter President's Ball (and she looked absolutely beautiful - as you can see!), which was a brilliant evening; my hallmates were also glamorous, everyone was having a wonderful time - but most of all, I was accompanying the most glamorous of them all!

Spokes, Wonderbrass and The Amateur Transplants played and were pretty good (although the sound technician should be given a good slap) but we didn't stay for the whole evening - stayed there for about 3hrs but spent like half an hour in a queue to get some decent pictures taken (thought I think they're worth it). So we left around half midnight, went back to mine for pizza and sleep - we were bloody tired by the time we got back. When did we get old, eh!? Though, now exams are happening, I doubt I'll see her for a good week and half. During her exams, she's got about ten days' worth of study leave, so I'll go see her for some of it and help her with her revision, spend some good quality time and go camping for Paul's birthday!

Beltane etc.

2009-05-12T03:15:00.006+01:00

Golly, I haven't updated in bloomin' ages.

Well... I wont bore you with needless updates; but I shall just make a small post on recent stuff.

Yesterday was the Carmarthenshire Beltane celebration. First thing I have to say is: since when did I become so elitist?!
Though the circle went well, the parts was done, community togetherness was achieved and so forth, I just felt... so lacking. After a year of rituals and having experienced different group's rites, it's almost like I have a vision of what one should be like. The most frustrating thing though (for me) is that I don't even have the proper abilities to enact the parts are well as I wish I could. I have difficulty projecting, I panic at the last minute (i.e. I may have learned my lines, but then forget at the pivotal moment). What shocked me the most was how almost scathing I was at some of the people's performances - Ian had beautiful words but totally lacked any passion or conviction; no-one really knew what was happening and just silly things like that. Nagging thoughts like that have been going in my head for some time, like how awful the Carmarthen folk are at drumming, or how the raising of power is usually badly released etc. and I'm guilty of all that I dislike about the rites.
And it feels quite awful to be so critical.
And I blame Erin(!) She's planted biases into me head that I can't really seem to shake off. Oh, and Bonewits. And my general arrogance.

That said, the rite itself was lovely. It was nice to jump the fire, to be in Dom's garden, to be around these wonderful people. I tried telling a story (the story of Taliesin; which was far too long and frankly a bore), we ate and were watered. I loved it.
Wish I'd stayed longer...

Ho hum. Rant over.

Conferences and conventions and camps... oh my!

2009-02-27T14:32:00.003Z

I'm gonna give you a list of the places I wish to go to this years, and some I'm already going to:

Peace Mala @ Gurkha Heaven - 21/03

Pagan Federation Mid-West & Wales Spring Conference - 3-4/04

A dream workshop - 15/04

Avalon Witchcamp - 23-28/05

Anderida Grove of the Seven Hills Summer Conference - 10-12/07

Sunrise Witchcamp - 20-24/08

Pagan Federation Mid-West & Wales Summer Camp - 11-13/09

Now, if I want to each of them, it would cost a total of £511, not including travel and the Dream Workshop, as the only details I have of it is the date and location. So which to choose? I probably won't go to any opf the Witchcamps, so those are probably for another year. I'm already going to the Peace Mala meal and to the Anderida Conference, and most probably to the Spring Conference and the Summer Camp (though, may not go to the Camp... not sure...). And I'll need more details for the Dream workshop.

Who knew being Pagan and supporting charities would cost that much...

University and Love.

2009-02-27T14:16:00.004Z

Pah! I've managed to miss another moot. I can't believe how negelctful I've been of the moots since coming to Lampeter. However, this time was kinda unavoidable as it was a major Student Forum (thought I think I could've actually not have gone).

There were elections on who should go to the NUS Wales Spring Conference. There were the voting on motions such as not opposing the merger but some of the terms; keeping our Ents Sabbatical; keeping our Welfare Sabbatical; keeping our independent societies; keeping our sports teams; keeping an independent RAG officer; keeping our Liberations officers; putting the ISO back on the Union Exec. and (finally) putting the 'T' back in 'LGB'.

Now while Transgendered people shouldn't be simply lumped with the LGBs, and while LGB is a sexuality issue and Transgendered people are a gender issues, more help can be provided for the latter as most organisations are LGBT(Q), as is NUS Wales. Plus this, thus far, only concerns one public Transgender who is leaving this year.

However, having Forum usually on the last Thursday of the month (and on Thursdays at all) poses quite a few problems for a lot of people such as Cwmanne nights and other events. So I may suggest Forum be moved to Wednesday etc.

And I've started talking to Kayleigh again. She the best friend from back in 2006, but we've had am, er, off friendship. Well. To quote a song "We're not quite just friends; we're just not quite lovers".

This culminated in a small talk/agument at Christmas. I fell in love with her a few years back and we kept 'getting together' but she would always back out because she couldn't handle it, or she had an emotional issue. Though, at Christmas, we decided to lose contact altogether because of this until, she figured, we were mature enough to just be friends. Though, partway through, I realised that the 'problems' as such weren't with me be more with her so contacted her a month and a half later essentially putting the ball in her court if ever she wanted to get back in contact, gave her all my details etc. And since then... we haven't stopped speaking. What does that say?

And she now wants to meet up when I go home next weekend. Bit soon don't you think?
I sorta know what this means, from hints and comments from others. Nothing bad; potentially amazing - but we'll see.

It's so cliché, falling for one's closest friend. It's almost storgic.

Ho hum. I never put emotional stuff here. Anyway...

Brownies

2008-12-27T19:24:00.004Z

This is pure indulgence :-) I love making these! I got the original recipe (and, I find, the best recipe so far) for these Bloomin' Brilliant Brownies from Jamie Oliver's Little Book of Big Treats written for Comic Relief a couple of years back with a few edits/addition

Ingredients

250g of unsalted butter
200g of dark broken up chocolate
50g of chocolate drops
80g cocoa powder
65g plain flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
360g caster sugar
4 large eggs
Remember - organic/fairtrade/free-range/available etc etc etc for the above :-)

Preheat the oven to 180°C (350°F).
Line a baking tin (mines about 9' by 12' and about half an inch deep) with greaseproof paper. Put a bowl over a pan of boiling water and melt the chocolate and the butter together, stirring until it's smooth. Stir in the chocolate drops, but a small handfull for later. (Tip: My Greataunt said if you put the chocolate in a pan with a dash of milk on a medium to low heat, it shouldn't burn/stick. It's worked so far...)
In another bowl, sift in the cococa, flour and baking power, add in the sugar and mix well, then stir it into the chocolate mixture, stirring well. Beat the four eggs and mix it in until its silky.
Pour the mixture into the baking tray (scrape well with a spatula - waste not!), smooth it over and sprinkle on the rest of the chocolate drops and place in the oven for around 20-25 minutes (I've got a fan oven, so I put it in for about 20, take them out and let it cook in its own heat then let it cool down).Erm, they shouldn't be cooked to the point that a skewer comes out clean, and the should be a little springy.Let them cool down, transfer to a cutting board, then cut them to appropriate sizes.
And, er, enjoy :-)

Hi everyone! And meme :)

2008-12-25T16:44:00.003Z

Hey everyone. I seem to have internet again, at long last! So I'll start again with a nice meme:

The Forgiveness Meme (from PaganWisdom.com)

We've all done things we regret that resulted in hurting others, either directly or indirectly. Or we hurt ourselves. The Forgiveness Meme lets you state publicly (or privately) what you did, how you fell about it and provides a way for those who know you to offer acceptance and forgiveness for the action. Once you have been forgiven, either directly or by proxy, let the guilt go and be free of it. Then your friends and random strangers can decide whether you are sincere and whether they will forgive you or not, and possibly provide feedback and support. Just answer these three questions:

1) WHAT I DID:
2) HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT:
3) DO I WANT TO BE FORGIVEN?:

1) What I did:
In January, I was going out with Cerith but ended up cheating on him with my best friend Kayleigh. At the time I was having doubts about the relationship, about a week after things happened with her, I ended it with him saying I had too much stress going on at the time and couldn't cope with a relationship, which was half-true as it was then that I found out Dad'd been cheating on my Mother (ironic...) and the stress was ridiculous at home.
Things with me and Kay lasted a further week.

2) How I feel about it:
At the time, I was pretty indifferent. I didn't end it with him so much as to attempt to be with her, but more out of guilt and necessity. Now? I feel like I betrayed him. He really was a nice guy and apart from, ah, certain issues, he'd been nothing but awesome to me. And yeah, I betrayed him and did something I said I'd never do.

3) Do I want to be forgiven?:
I don't want to tell him. And I want him to hate me for it. So no.

Mabon

2008-09-21T22:46:00.005+01:00

The Mabon Ritual was quite... something. I'm still trying to understand some of the stuff I was feeling. One of the things that surprised me was one a compulsion to cleanse the area. It didn't feel particularly 'negative' or unwelcoming or, well, in needing of a cleanse, but I still did it.
I lit some frankincense, sprayed salt water, rang bells, 'commanded' all energies to leaves, shouted etc.

I felt quite empowered.

Another thing I noticed was a dislike to using my Athame. I don't relate to that ritual tool at all - or it could mine that I don't like? Whatever the answer, I don't like using it, so I probably wont anymore. And Pinky's wand was acting bizarrely. Well, one thing for sure, my view towards wands have changed since talking to Erin.
Plus I think it's a little jealous since I began using other wands...

A break down anywho - Don and I arrived at the Temple (Star of Venus looked so bare. It was quite disheartening) and Don promptly got to brushing the floor while I was, as mentioned above, compelled to cleanse the area of all residual energies, positive and negative. I also charged the salt and water for their use. Susan and Pinky arrived and begun with setting out the quarters and the altars, getting everything laid out nicely.

The ritual begun with Don and I blessing each other with the smudge stick and the the salt-water, swapping our respective items. We then asked the ladies to stay outside while we went in and consecrated and blessed the Temple, returning outside for the blessing and cleansing of Susan and Pinky.

We took our places, and, erm, I can't really remember exactly the order that everything happened. I think Don begun by thanking the spirits of place. Not I have to state here and now that Donald is an amazing orator and ritualist. The words he devises are beautiful and fitting with the mentality of ritual and respect. He wrote out a prose of thanks and welcome to the Genius Loci, and read it out with eloquence.

Next came the grounding. I was supposed to come up with something for this but I came out blank, so I asked is Pinky could do her Tree of Life visualisation again. I had mentioned some problems with this at the Ritual Planning session, only because I thought it may be good to experiment with something different. It works, of course - just wanted to push the boat out a bit! This particular one was different. I could actually feel warmth from my feet and coolness from my hands and head.

Pinky then came around the circle with her wand to 'mark out' or cast the circle itself. For the elements, as with Midsummer, we all each called an element. Air for me, Fire for Susan, Water for Pinky and Don called Earth. Finally we collectively called to Spirit by linking hands. I felt a real connection when we called Spirit - usually one of us has a script, or something thought out to say when we call an element but as we were doing it together, there was no one voice, we worked collectively. I think it was either here (or after the other Beings had been welcomed or acknowledged) that I sorta asked everyone to link hands again and chant with me, three times, the Druidic Vow:

We swear by Peace and Love to stand,
Heart to heart and hand in hand, Mark,
O Spirit, and hear us now,
Confirming this, our sacred vow.

I can't say whether it went down well. It wasn't part of the script, but it felt appropriate to me at the time. Pinky and Susan then called to the Deities. One the Goddess side was Persephone, Demeter and Hecate called by Pinky, and for the God was the Mabon called by Susan. I think I called to Taliesin there and then, as the Bardic Circle wasn't taking place, but as Pinky was saying her Poetry anywho.

Pinky then acknowledged the Fae. ("Never welcome them... never welcome them...") It was about then that was the time for me to call to the Ancestors and Descendants. I, er, hadn't prepared anything, again. So I decided to make something up on the spot. Strangely, it came quite easily to me and I think it worked well. As well as welcoming them, it was also a sort of visualisation about the Ancestors and Descendants, naming ourselves also as Descendants and Ancestors. I might write it up at some point.

Don, with his now customary wordsmithery and art, called out to the totems in poem form and asked us to call our own. Normally I would have called to the Owl and Raven, but I think that they were Power animals for a certain period. I have an affinity with both, but I'm doubting now whether they are actually my Totems. So I called out to whatever totem may be mine, revealed or otherwise.

Last was Susan calling the Mysterious Ones.

As all the invoking occurred, the ritual went to the main part, or the Tofu - (not the meat of the ritual lawl, to keep vegans happy). It involved the group writing down what aspects they wanted to shed of old (something I associate with Samhain, but it worked all the same) on leaf shaped paper that Don made. They were then to be composted by Pinky, or burned, when they got home. A basket of apples was then passed around where we picked what we wanted to bring in for the coming year. I picked three - one thanking all my friends and family, one thanking all my achievements and one asking to bring in peace in an angry boy.

After we did this, we each went to the Altar and gave a Blessed Hazelnut to whoever we wanted saying what we wished for them in the new year. And I ate my gifts heartily ;).

I guess it was kinda emotional. Susan was moved, I can't really say for Don and Pinky was... vibrant. I felt sad. I could be over-dramatic and say I always do these days, but that's besides the point. It was highly symbolic. I was shedding the old year in quite a literal sense. I was shedding my old life in a fortnight for University. So I got rid of everything I didn't want to bring there, everything that hindered me this year, and I asked personal forgiveness (by which I mean, I asked my 'Self' to forgive 'my' actions of the year), and asked to be a better friend, to be a better lover, to be a better healer, and a better person. I asked that Kay and everyone else were to be looked after.

The energies were palpable. We didn't need to raise energy.

Pinky gave us Food and Drink, we devoked and feasted. Unfortunately also, we didn't have time for the Bardic Circle, but that didn't matter. I felt inspired, I felt filled, and Pinky shared her muse, as did Don in his rituality, and Susan had to leave, unfortunately.

Mail

2008-09-21T22:37:00.003+01:00

I've just been sorting through my room and I've found a pile of mail I haven't sent!! I cannot believe I haven't gotten 'round to sending them! There's Connie's Christmas present (10 months ago!) and Mika's Birthday present in among them (April). So I'll be sending them as soon as possible.

Seeing stuff like this makes me incredulous to how lazy and forgetful I can be. This is beyond.

Sorry peeps!

University.

2008-09-16T05:38:00.003+01:00

Two weeks and three days. That's how long I have before I enroll at the University of Wales Lampeter. I'm terrified.

I understand that it isn't the same as some people who are going far away, like to Birmingham, as Lampeter about an hour and a half away? It's the whole university experience that I'm scared off. Am I doing the right course? Well it's one I love. Though, religious studies/philosophical studies isn't something I'm going to get to use practically after Uni. So will it be 3 years and £15,000+ down the drain? I don't know.

Will I make friends? I'm alone and love my own company, but I crave company and I'm a very social animal when it really comes down to it.

No doubt it'll go perfectly, and I'll love it, but I still have fears.

This is a small initiation. It's living independently from home for the first time, being self-providing. It's the créme de la créme of education at the moment. This is me dedicating myself to a dicipline. This is serious.

At the same time however, I welcome the challenge. Beyond the apprehension, I'm excited, I'm full of energy. And I'm not leaving all my friends (who'll be just a couple of bus rides away), I've still got Neil, who's going as well.

This is new.

Sorry for not writing about anything significant, blog buddies! I just need to find somewhere to say this.

"It's too early..."

2008-09-16T03:40:00.003+01:00

Over the past few days, I've been violently sick, been getting ridiculous heartburn and migraines. I've also been staying up late almost every night as there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything.

I know what's been causin it however. It's drinking obscene amounts of coffee in order to stay away. I tried drinking ginseng tea, but that didn't work. What I do, however, is melt down a tablespoon of coffee in a shot-glass topped with a water and drinking three of those at a time.

It's stuff like this which really make me realised how little regard I give to my body. I'm overweight and unhealthy. I'm a vegetarian, but I gorge on foods at times, merely out of boredom. I give little care to my physical appearance (small brush of a the hair, put on whatever's available). That said, I'm a physical clean freak. I constantly wash my hands, I shower every day and scrubs diligently, and sometimes I must wash my hair twice a day.

This makes me realise, again, the hypocrisy I have when applying my values onto my own life. I constantly encourage my family and close friends to stop smoking, help them eat healthier foods, tell them herbs that will help certain ailments (with what little knowledge I have) but I totally neglect my own. I try to be active to helping the local environment, but my garden is a tip. I've gone to other people's houses to help clean their rooms (this'll sound weird, but it's acutally a bonding session with friends!), or move things about in their houses - but my room is horrible. there is no floor space, the walls need a clean, and I have piles and piles of papers everywhere, and I wonder why I never sleep - it's too cluttered.

It's quite bewildering how procrastination stops me from actually applying good values onto one's life. I can't do it. So I spend nightime doing my work, cleaning my room, catching up on tasks because I'm so lazy during the day. Look at me now though - it's almost 4am and I'm online - not doing my jobs!!!

The coffee though, just shows it all. I'm an neglecting my body to help fix the laziness that's caused all this. The cycle is vicious. I'm AWAKE by night, and exhausted by day, to the cycle to get things done at night when I can't during the day gets worse.

What's more, I hate coffee.

Apologies for the rambling, blog buddies. I'm off to drink some peppermint tea to help with me stomach and finaly pack some ruddy boxes.

Awards to Blog Buddies!

2008-09-16T03:22:00.003+01:00

Many, many thanks to Susan Moonroot for nominating me for the "I Love Your Blog" award! I must do likewise now.

The Rules for those receiving an award are:

The winner can put the logo on their blog
Link the person you received the award from
Nominate at least 7 other blogs
Put links of those blogs on yours
Leave a message on the blogs nominated

I'd like to show some love to:

Moonroot - Her blog shows her strength through troubled times and her dedication to a way of life "[living] lightly on the earth". No matter the times, her posts are always positives and thoughtful. I'm proud and honoured to call her a friend.
Lothlorien-Nemeton Seedgroup - Is an OBOD seedgroup facilitated by Adam and Mika who are two Kindred Souls charting their progress working at the Earth Sanctuary combining ecology, psychosynthesis and other aspects to created a beautiful and earth-loving school.
Engineering Judgement - Tom is an engineering student, combining his extensive knowledge and creativity, and decidedly Finnish-like insanity to make a reality to his creations. His blog charts his thoughts and often humourous ramblings. Plus he looks like the guy on the right ;-D
The Spiritual Journey of a Somerset Pagan - I've recently discovered Andy's blog through Moonroot, and find his updates funny and genuine. Give it a read!

And this is where I must draw the line... as a relative newcomer to Blogspot, I don't really know many other blogs (Mika and Adam have some others, however :) ) on blogspot bar some by some Artists I quite like, such as Frank Turner.

However, I wanted to show my love to you lot! Pass it on and share the appreciation!

Macaroni Cheese

2008-09-06T20:09:00.003+01:00

Macaroni Cheese!

About 1bl of cooked pasta (macaroni or penne) - or enough to make about a half to one inch thick layer in a large baking dish

For the sauce:
500ml of milk
Half an onion
Two cloves of garlic
Sprig of thyme
1.5oz of butter
1oz of flour
Pinch of cayenne pepper (or a bit more if you like that)
Pinch of nutmeg (or, don't do like me and put in about a tablespoon of it...)
Salt 'n Pepper
About 4oz of gratted cheddar, and maybe a little extra to sprinkle.
2.5oz of gratted parmesan
Something like a handful of 1cm thick cheddar cubes (I didn't have enough cheese for that, but it's a good idea nonetheless)

Right! I got this recipe from VideoJug.
Preheat the oven to about 22oC. Then, in a saucepan heat up the milk in about a meadium heat and put in the onion, garlic and thyme and leave it on the heat to flavour it but take it off the heat before it boils.

In another saucepan, melt the butter with a wooden spoon and add the flour when it's all melted. Stir is well and then strain the milk, stir, add the cayenne pepper, nutmeg, salt 'n pepper and whisk until it thickens.

Take it off the heat and mix in the gratted cheddar, mixing until it melts then mixing in the parmesan, stirring well. In a large bowl, mix the pasta and sauce together, mixing well, then add the cubes and mix again.

Transfer it to a lare oven dish, sprinkle the remainder cheddar, spirinkle some pepper, and bake in the oven for about 20 minutes, or until it's brown on top and bubbling inside. And Serve!!

That should provide four people with a decent portion (like a side?) or it should give two people a good meal.

Enjoy :) I did.

Making a Peace Mala

2008-08-27T23:52:00.002+01:00

I've made a small instructional video on how to make a Peace Mala. Mostly, it was to test out my new webcam (which works wonderfully), but this seems good enough.

Link

Enjoy!

For Susan

2008-08-26T19:26:00.003+01:00

Susan, just made this for you, because we all love you, and this is something to show all people who love you and the things that make you wonderful, loved, and the amazing person you are.

Link

Poetic joy!

2008-08-25T19:50:00.003+01:00

After a year of not being able to listen to DruidCast (for the OBOD by Dave the Bard), it now seems to be working so I've been listening to the old ones that I missed. The third podcast, I was surprised to hear, had one of my poems read out! I totally forgot I sent it in, so it was indeed a wonderful surprise!

Here's the text of it:

An Invocation of Awen
Flow through me O Sacred Awen
You the muse to Poets, Bards and Artists.

Let my tongue weave golden ribbons of Words
To wrap around mesmerised crowds like silk.
Let my stories inspire the emptiest of minds
And bring joy to the bottom pits of the saddest heart.

Whilst ordinary verse may make move a lady to tears
You, the Fires of Arousal, will make them Burn!
You are the spirit that enlightens and inspires
And yours is the essence of insight and wisdom.

So allow me but a glimpse of the texts of the Fferyllt,
The great Alchemists of high Dinas Affaraon,
From which Ceridwen read to brew the Cauldron of Wisdom
That blessed the fair Taliesin with his golden tongue.

Grant me this day wisdom and inspiration, sacred Awen
Flow with Nwyfre in my blood and burst my heart a-flame!
Paul Rousselle Feb'07

8 Things

2008-08-21T00:33:00.004+01:00

8 Reasons To Love Wales:

A rich a diverse history, from the druids to the kingdoms that once were part of these islands.
The establishment of the modern Eisteddfod!
The Mabinogion - a series of wonderful and beautiful tales to enchant any mind.
Dylan Thomas!
Carmarthen - a town steeped in such history (the historical roman town of Moridunum) and mythology (Merlin is linked deeply with Carmarthen) that it's rather hard not to fall in love with this wonderful town.
Susan's cooking! Every time she writes about her cordials and cooking I can just about taste it :)
Pobi Caws. There's cheese-on-toast, and then there's Pobi Caws (or welsh rarebit). Who could think that cheese-on-toast could be made into such a divine national dish!
Rain. Yes, I've said it. I love the rain...

Consuming plants versus animals

2008-08-13T21:11:00.005+01:00

I have a dilemma.

My vegetarianism manifested itself fully early in the year. There were quite a few reasons for this.
I totally abhorred the thought of killing a life in order to sustain myself. At the end of the day, how can I justify the 'sacrifice' of one order to allow myself to live? I'd kill (or 'allow' the killing) for my own sake, in itself an arrogant gesture assuming that my life is of more importance than theirs; that I have the right to take that life and not them.

Then there was the very idea of eating flesh. Even as a child I never really enjoyed the idea of it. You ate meat. Meat was meat. When meat is flesh then... it suddenly has a new perspective on you.

Now for the typical reason. Animals are reared for the sole purpose of serving us. This is another way that I see the human arrogance of assuming we are dominant over them. Higher brain function doesn't mean you are better than them. Husbandry was around a long time before the advent of the Abrahamic religions, but lines such as the Bible's Genesis 1:27-29:

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them,
"Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the
fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that
moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing
plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in
it. They will be yours for food.

30 And to all the beasts of the earth
and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the
ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for
food." And it was so.

are taught regularly without question to children, that we are masters of the earth and were first commanded by Yahweh to "fill the earth and subdue it". Scientism also gives an ethic of near superiority over anything we find. Animals can be tested on for the benefit of humans. Plants genetically engineered for the benefit of humans. Forests felled for the benefit of humans. Cruelty to animals is a daily and 'normal' occurrence. And many scientists consider the point of cruelty to some animals null until they've proved they can feel pain. Fish were only recently scientifically proven to be able to feel pain! What a horrible philosophy. It's not the point of whether or not they can feel pain, but in the way they're treated. If you have the ability to treat a living being with such regard as to consider them as nothing but objects of use without any regard, then what does that reflect on you as a person?

Many animals are held in squalid conditions, abnormally injected with chemicals and water, and whatever else. I can't stomach that a living, sentient being is forced to live like this for the purpose of food.
I'll say now though, not all animals are held like so. Some are decently cared for and loved in optimum ways, but they're still trapped beings for the sake of food

So those are my reasons.

I have a problem, however. I'm vegetarian - not vegan. I still drink milk and eat eggs and other products derived from living beings. Though I aspire to the transition to a vegan lifestyle, I'm not there yet - as such the hypocrisy of my words are transparent. I'm still supporting animals exploitation and dominance. I wear leather. Again, as above.

For now, I do my best to source products from compassionate origins - organic free range eggs, local organic milk etc. I use leather as little as I possibly can and try to use faux leather where I can - but still, I'm not vegan. In a way, I still consider myself as bad as the exploiters. I soon will be.

I found another problem again, and this is directly linked to the consumption of plants. In an animistic philosophy, the plant is a living, vibrating being, which is something we know already. They are organisms capable of eating, reproducing, breathing. Can they feel pain? Does it matter if they can or can't?

The problem rises again. Agriculture is geared towards the mass propagation of matter for our own use and consumption. We're using cutting down and using plants in much the same way as we're using animals. One way this doesn't occur is with fruit. A fruit is designed to be eaten by animals in order to allow the seeds to germinate in the intestines, then to grow with the faeces later excreted. We're meant to eat them. Which is fine - but with that, we've geared a means to cultivate and grow plants for their fruit on a massive scale. They're grown solely for our own use.

Taking out meat from my diet means that I'm increasing my consumption of plant matter by a greater margin. I'm forsaking ten for one, essentially. Killing more, presuming we can hold plants in the same box animals.

And that is my little problem of the now. Hope this wasn't too long winded.

Meme: 8 Things

2008-08-10T00:45:00.006+01:00

I found this wonderful meme from Magpie Girl, while randomly browsing the net.

I think the general idea if you find a theme every 8odd days and make a list, such as "8 things I believe" or "8 things to love about marzipan" haha. A funny one I found was:

8 Reasons to Be Gay

When you have a boyfriend, your wardrobe doubles!
Two penises are better then one.
Glitter!!
Tits...
You get this nifty free membership card, and these glasses.
Because you get to use words like Fierce and Fabulous.
You get to enjoy the joys of discrimination in 48 states and most coutries around the world.
You don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant.

You do some :)

Ritual in Star of Venus

2008-08-04T05:35:00.007+01:00

I think the Lammas ritual went pretty well. I must remember to that Susan properly next time I see her. And Pinky as well! On a personal basis the ritual helped clarify some of the meanings of Lammas itself, though the next task shall be to experience Mabon properly. Though as an equinox, it should be rooted in the equality of night and day and possibly in the waning of the day to the night. Maybe.

The main meaning that I understood was as the first of the harvests, it's truly the first time that we can appreciate the efforts and the toils that went into the planting of the seeds, plants and other items. It's the time to properly give thanks to those who have worked and also to taste of the first fruits of the labours. Importantly so, however, it is the time to really think about those whose harvests were not fields were not plentiful - the Third World, places with drought and political disharmony. Some harvest may well have been full but the majority of the crop taken to give to the leaders rather than distributed fairly among all. I think this was the main motive for the bowl of grains I brought. It was a mandala of Quinoa and Rice - the grains of the Americas and of the Orient. In lands like Central and South America, they were wealthy and prosperous yet the people lie sick and in pain through the lack of bounty. It is from the Aztec and Inca that we have Quinoa, known as a Mother Grain, so I took it as symbolic of there. Rice is the staple food of the majority of Asia. It's practically what the impoverished have to rely on even if there is nothing left - but rising food prices means it's becoming scarce. So that was my symbol.

It's interesting however that we were able to bring so much to the ritual in terms of fruit and jams and grains and baked goods, that as it was time to leave much of the harvest had been left. The welsh cakes were hardly touched. The fruit were still in abundance. No matter, I took some and those that cleared up took the rest where I'm sure they were well enjoyed afterwards. Speaking of which, I'll need to give Karen her Tupperware back if she comes to the moot - something I hope she will do. Karen had previous experience of a local coven, but one that turned quite negative, so some of the group (especially Pinky, the wonderful woman) to make her feel welcome and safe from the negative attacks. I noticed little things that Pinky said to her that made me smile quietly.

The Basket of Abundance was one of the main items of the ritual. It was a point during the ritual where a basket was passed around the circle filled with homemade (or bought) items that the group had brought along. Other attendees then picked something they fancied, sharing crafts and gifts. Compared to some of the items given, my God's Eye (or Brigid's Cross?) seemed quite pathetic in comparison. This only reinforced the realisation that I need to learn a lot of craft skills and put them to good practice. What I took out were rather pleasing. One was a Calendula Flower Essence homemade by Louisa. She described it's properties thusly:

A hug from a good friend when you feel alone in the middle of a crowd.

It's meant to give you that inner happiness you get with contentment and the like, so this is something I'll cherish and use much of. If only I could get a dropper for it. I also to out a green tea home fragrance oil, bought from The Body Shop by Mel, that revealed a wonderful flowery fragrance that I love so much of green tea. Quite useful.

Pinky also gave me one of her Hag Stones, one of an unusual type. Along with the usual hole through the middle, it had another connecting to the main tunnel from what became the top. I don't fully know if this has any significance, however. The folklore behind the hag stone if that as an item you hold to your eye, it helps protect against diseases of the eye and generally protect the home of sickness. If one were to look through the middle, the Shining Ones and Earth Beings may be seen. I've hung this one on the holder of the chain on the front door and give it a hold or touch before leaving.

One of the final parts of the ritual before the closing was a guided visualisation by Susan which involved a meeting with the Corn Goddess. This meeting, with me, involved a talk by her explaining that I cannot consider things happening without first planting the seeds and making manifest what I wish to. Every outcome requires effort and sacrifices, and most importantly, time and patience. She then gave a gift of three braided stalks of wheat. I wasn't too sure of the meaning, however.

After the visualisation, we were invited to pick a disk of holly or blackthorn (kindly provided by Pinky's husband) and drawn o it something meaningful of the journey, or something to keep as an amulet. I took blackthorn drawing on one side the gift (badly) on a background of a setting sun and on the other side a bindrune of Kenaz, Uruz and Thurisaz to represent Will, Effort and Work to Manifest. That is, what I need help to increase in myself to manifest what I require rather than procrastinating. Afterwards, I excused myself, and went downstairs to buy some drawstring bags from the Star of Venus downstairs. I then invited them to put the disk in the bag and then fill it with a choice of the grains that had been brought. Or fill the bag with grain and keep the disk. Or... whatever they felt was best! I did the former, but I've since taken out the disk and placed it at my altar and hung the bag at my bedroom door.

Talking of Star of Venus, is seems the shop is now closing. They can't afford the rent for the shop at all. They've barely been open a year and now it shall be no more at the end of August. However, Bev and Dave may be able to open the shop in the downstairs of their house as they may not have the foster children from much longer and all their children are going to university. Though how they'll be able to afford the rent with the shop, I'll never know. They're contracted for a few more years, so they still need to pay it somehow.

I don't think I'll write much more - dawn's just broken and I think the cat's waiting for me to sleep.

BBC Radio Article on Lammas

2008-07-31T02:00:00.005+01:00

I was skimming through the BBC.co.uk pages on religion. The 'article of the now' was about Lammas (which is a contraction of Hlaefmass or Loaf Mass. I didn't use to use it until today, because of the word Mass, but I found out it comes from the Anglo-Saxon masse meaning lump or dough. Which is apt) so I decided to read it. While short 'n sweet, it did provide a link to a radio piece on the Lammas Games in 2007.

One of the bits that caught my attention was a small interview with Paul Mitchell, (from the Anderida Gorsedd no less!) a Bard from England.

Interviewer: How does druidry affect your everyday life?
Paul Mitchell: I don't believe what I believe because I'm a Druid, I'm a Druid because of the things I believe. It's a title I give myself, I don't fool myself that I am the same as the ancient druids of times gone by.
I don't think it influences my life, I think it is simply a reflection of my beliefs, my values, my values around the environment, around people, around community, and how important they are to me and, I think, to everyone and everything.

That is possibly on the better ways of describing Paganism and how it relates to us. My deviation to Paganism didn't make me Pagan, but rather is a system that fitted comfortably with what I believed in. Granted, since the label, I've quietly sealed the box up and progressed further inside than I would have imagined but I'm quite comfortable here. I've discovered a wonderful community and I think I'm now progressing quite nicely.

Beyond that, they prominently interview Bobcat (Emma Restall-Orr). She's always good to listen to on the various radio pieces they do. Admittedly I rather prefer listening to her than reading her books. There's Living Druidry on the bookshelf but her writing style (I'm picky with the way people write) has left it sadly unread.

There have been comments that the druidry of today is getting progressively more Wiccan in style and while I don't completely agree with that, you do feel it sometimes with her rituals. OBOD have their fair share, but there you go.

She's quite refreshing to listen to with her useful description of Lammas, and the games. She's frequently on the BBC, so I think if you rummage around there you could find some more pieces with her.

Anywho! Listen to the whole radio piece. It's quite interesting.

Thoughts on Lammas

2008-07-28T21:36:00.006+01:00

Gwyl Awst (Lammas) is the festival that is coming up - roughly the three days of the 31st to the 2nd.

It's one of those celebrations which seems to pass me by mostly unnoticed. Along with the Equinox and Nos Galan Gaeaf (Samhain), to a degree, I considered them all 'autumnal' (even though Gwyl Awst is in the Summer) and as harvest festivals - to me, harvest signified autumn.

They were the festivals with the least personal meaning to myself as harvest had little meaning to my life. I never performed a harvest and the closest I can consider to it would be the summery blackberry pickings with my late grandmother and the Harvest Festivals (where tins and goods were brought in by students and shared out among the elderly members of the community) in school during early September.

A personal decision to make Paganism a more integral part of daily and general practice, this year I hope to make that different with a closer inspection of both the external and immanent meanings.

Wonderfully, moonroot has organised a joint (and partly public) formal celebration of Gwyl Awst in the upper Temple of Star of Venus. This I'm hoping shall help me connect with the meaning of the festival.

On the plus side, this time of year means an abundance of fresh summer fruits! I've been told that it's around this time when berry picking is best for things such as blackberries, bilberries and the like, but my parents are adamant that it's a late august thing. They are becoming more available however.

It's these fruits that are also able to help against colds and help build up the immune system (particularly red coloured fruit). Little consolation now though, as I'm nursing a cold mingled with this allergy to nature (hayfever). I'm off to make a Lemsip!

Only Human

2008-07-26T23:09:00.005+01:00

I was listening to this song by Dave the Bard, and it made me think quite a bit.

Only Human
Isn’t it crazy, isn’t it cruel,
That a man can earn millions from kicking a ball,
While for other countries, we role a dice,
For a little clean water and a bowl of rice,
Politicians and empty promises help lessen our pain,
It’s only human

Isn’t it wonderful, isn’t it right,
There’s nothing as worthless as an animals life,
But it helps me feel better, when I feel ill,
I can’t taste the pain in this little pill,
A thousand lives given to live just a few more years,
It’s only human.

Cut down a forest for grass that won’t grow,
To help melt the ice caps, to help melt the snow,
We’ll watch the seas rise with nowhere to go,
It’s only human.

Isn’t is holy, isn’t it good,
That people kill people in the name of their God,
A bomb for a Father, a bullet for a Son,
And a smile for the child that carried the gun,
Only one God can be right when all's said and done,
It’s only human.
Damh the Bard

This song encapsulates the sickening qualities that show what makes us human. No other animal would be so cruel as to deny an infant chimpanzee love, affection, warmth to observe the affects of deprivation.

No other animal would wipe out entire species over a single warped idea.

No other animal would level a forest to rear poorly treated animals for cheap meat.

No other animal would kill for his own sky-faerie, who told him that he was that he was The One And Only Right Way™.

We've developed into an insensitively sickening race and it makes one realise why the Earth Mother is trying to purge us and begin again. If the price of sapience is the loss of natural affinity, of our integral goodness then I doubt very much that it is quite worth paying that much.

We need to regain compassionate respect and regard for one another, not just as humans, but along with every single sentient being - plants included.

I'm quite ashamed to be Homo Sapien.

Crackers and Religion

2008-07-15T02:37:00.001+01:00

I was discussing some Matzo crackers with my auntie, who came for a visit from France, and remarked on the same that it was not to be used for Passover. I tried to explain this to her, but I couldn't quite find the right word for Passover (I eventually settled, rather embarrassingly, for 'Jewish Easter'). All the while, I described the Passover story to jog her memory, where the Angel of Death were passing over the Hebrew homes, where the blood had been painted with blood, after which the Pharaoh released them and while preparing to leave, they made unleavened bread, not having the time to allow it to rise.

And she seemed bemused by the story.

She didn't know the story, and this surprised me as she had called herself a Christian for quite some time. I pushed further and she answered that she called herself Catholic as she had been baptised as such and was culturally so. Culturally so. Hmm. Not that reminds me of an article by Richard Dawkins on how, all the while being a firm Atheist, called himself a Cultural Christian. That is to say, he enjoyed Handel's 'The Messiah' and singing Carols, and the architecture of churches and the culture created by Christians.

Following a tradition and a cultural act created perhaps from religious traditions does not make you a member of that religion. Aren't you just paying lip service, or saying so because it is more culturally acceptable? And why does religion have to do with culture?

By this I mean the architect of Westminster may have been a Christian, but that does not make it a Christian building. Handel's music may have religious themes, but I listen to it because it is beautiful and moving. Even if he was Christian, it does not make the music, by default, Christian. I see this in the same light as when Dawkins said that labelling a child by their religion is abhorrent because they do not have the capacity to chose their religion and it is equally abhorrent to have a child labelled in the same way as their parent.

I'm wondering how many, like my Aunt, have written a religion in, say, the census while not having any real knowledge/belief in that religion and put it as such because they consider it so by habit and culture.

Maybe a census should be expanded to clarify this.

71% in the UK census classed themselves as Christian but I guesstimate that perhaps 20% or more have only gone to church as children or for certain ceremonies (weddings, funerals etc.) or even personal crisis (in the example of my father. He found a resurgence in his Catholicism, went to Confession, then fell by the wayside again). Childhood baptism does not make one Christian by choice.

I'm also wondering if the 15% of the No Religion box were Atheist or those who don't believe in anything or those who don't generally care or the culturally religious.

Ho hum.

New blog

2008-07-08T11:18:00.000+01:00

I've had this account for quite some time, but I've decided to get rid of all my old posts. I've also decided to use this independently to my Livejournal as a portal to write read-worthy (albeit self-focused) posts.

I'll endeavour to post periodically.

I hope you enjoy.