Sunday, 21 September 2008


The Mabon Ritual was quite... something. I'm still trying to understand some of the stuff I was feeling. One of the things that surprised me was one a compulsion to cleanse the area. It didn't feel particularly 'negative' or unwelcoming or, well, in needing of a cleanse, but I still did it.
I lit some frankincense, sprayed salt water, rang bells, 'commanded' all energies to leaves, shouted etc.

I felt quite empowered.

Another thing I noticed was a dislike to using my Athame. I don't relate to that ritual tool at all - or it could mine that I don't like? Whatever the answer, I don't like using it, so I probably wont anymore. And Pinky's wand was acting bizarrely. Well, one thing for sure, my view towards wands have changed since talking to Erin.
Plus I think it's a little jealous since I began using other wands...

A break down anywho - Don and I arrived at the Temple (Star of Venus looked so bare. It was quite disheartening) and Don promptly got to brushing the floor while I was, as mentioned above, compelled to cleanse the area of all residual energies, positive and negative. I also charged the salt and water for their use. Susan and Pinky arrived and begun with setting out the quarters and the altars, getting everything laid out nicely.

The ritual begun with Don and I blessing each other with the smudge stick and the the salt-water, swapping our respective items. We then asked the ladies to stay outside while we went in and consecrated and blessed the Temple, returning outside for the blessing and cleansing of Susan and Pinky.

We took our places, and, erm, I can't really remember exactly the order that everything happened. I think Don begun by thanking the spirits of place. Not I have to state here and now that Donald is an amazing orator and ritualist. The words he devises are beautiful and fitting with the mentality of ritual and respect. He wrote out a prose of thanks and welcome to the Genius Loci, and read it out with eloquence.

Next came the grounding. I was supposed to come up with something for this but I came out blank, so I asked is Pinky could do her Tree of Life visualisation again. I had mentioned some problems with this at the Ritual Planning session, only because I thought it may be good to experiment with something different. It works, of course - just wanted to push the boat out a bit! This particular one was different. I could actually feel warmth from my feet and coolness from my hands and head.

Pinky then came around the circle with her wand to 'mark out' or cast the circle itself. For the elements, as with Midsummer, we all each called an element. Air for me, Fire for Susan, Water for Pinky and Don called Earth. Finally we collectively called to Spirit by linking hands. I felt a real connection when we called Spirit - usually one of us has a script, or something thought out to say when we call an element but as we were doing it together, there was no one voice, we worked collectively. I think it was either here (or after the other Beings had been welcomed or acknowledged) that I sorta asked everyone to link hands again and chant with me, three times, the Druidic Vow:

We swear by Peace and Love to stand,
Heart to heart and hand in hand, Mark,
O Spirit, and hear us now,
Confirming this, our sacred vow.

I can't say whether it went down well. It wasn't part of the script, but it felt appropriate to me at the time. Pinky and Susan then called to the Deities. One the Goddess side was Persephone, Demeter and Hecate called by Pinky, and for the God was the Mabon called by Susan. I think I called to Taliesin there and then, as the Bardic Circle wasn't taking place, but as Pinky was saying her Poetry anywho.

Pinky then acknowledged the Fae. ("Never welcome them... never welcome them...") It was about then that was the time for me to call to the Ancestors and Descendants. I, er, hadn't prepared anything, again. So I decided to make something up on the spot. Strangely, it came quite easily to me and I think it worked well. As well as welcoming them, it was also a sort of visualisation about the Ancestors and Descendants, naming ourselves also as Descendants and Ancestors. I might write it up at some point.

Don, with his now customary wordsmithery and art, called out to the totems in poem form and asked us to call our own. Normally I would have called to the Owl and Raven, but I think that they were Power animals for a certain period. I have an affinity with both, but I'm doubting now whether they are actually my Totems. So I called out to whatever totem may be mine, revealed or otherwise.

Last was Susan calling the Mysterious Ones.

As all the invoking occurred, the ritual went to the main part, or the Tofu - (not the meat of the ritual lawl, to keep vegans happy). It involved the group writing down what aspects they wanted to shed of old (something I associate with Samhain, but it worked all the same) on leaf shaped paper that Don made. They were then to be composted by Pinky, or burned, when they got home. A basket of apples was then passed around where we picked what we wanted to bring in for the coming year. I picked three - one thanking all my friends and family, one thanking all my achievements and one asking to bring in peace in an angry boy.

After we did this, we each went to the Altar and gave a Blessed Hazelnut to whoever we wanted saying what we wished for them in the new year. And I ate my gifts heartily ;).

I guess it was kinda emotional. Susan was moved, I can't really say for Don and Pinky was... vibrant. I felt sad. I could be over-dramatic and say I always do these days, but that's besides the point. It was highly symbolic. I was shedding the old year in quite a literal sense. I was shedding my old life in a fortnight for University. So I got rid of everything I didn't want to bring there, everything that hindered me this year, and I asked personal forgiveness (by which I mean, I asked my 'Self' to forgive 'my' actions of the year), and asked to be a better friend, to be a better lover, to be a better healer, and a better person. I asked that Kay and everyone else were to be looked after.

The energies were palpable. We didn't need to raise energy.

Pinky gave us Food and Drink, we devoked and feasted. Unfortunately also, we didn't have time for the Bardic Circle, but that didn't matter. I felt inspired, I felt filled, and Pinky shared her muse, as did Don in his rituality, and Susan had to leave, unfortunately.


I've just been sorting through my room and I've found a pile of mail I haven't sent!! I cannot believe I haven't gotten 'round to sending them! There's Connie's Christmas present (10 months ago!) and Mika's Birthday present in among them (April). So I'll be sending them as soon as possible.

Seeing stuff like this makes me incredulous to how lazy and forgetful I can be. This is beyond.

Sorry peeps!

Tuesday, 16 September 2008


Two weeks and three days. That's how long I have before I enroll at the University of Wales Lampeter. I'm terrified.

I understand that it isn't the same as some people who are going far away, like to Birmingham, as Lampeter about an hour and a half away? It's the whole university experience that I'm scared off. Am I doing the right course? Well it's one I love. Though, religious studies/philosophical studies isn't something I'm going to get to use practically after Uni. So will it be 3 years and £15,000+ down the drain? I don't know.

Will I make friends? I'm alone and love my own company, but I crave company and I'm a very social animal when it really comes down to it.

No doubt it'll go perfectly, and I'll love it, but I still have fears.

This is a small initiation. It's living independently from home for the first time, being self-providing. It's the créme de la créme of education at the moment. This is me dedicating myself to a dicipline. This is serious.

At the same time however, I welcome the challenge. Beyond the apprehension, I'm excited, I'm full of energy. And I'm not leaving all my friends (who'll be just a couple of bus rides away), I've still got Neil, who's going as well.

This is new.

Sorry for not writing about anything significant, blog buddies! I just need to find somewhere to say this.

"It's too early..."

Over the past few days, I've been violently sick, been getting ridiculous heartburn and migraines. I've also been staying up late almost every night as there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything.

I know what's been causin it however. It's drinking obscene amounts of coffee in order to stay away. I tried drinking ginseng tea, but that didn't work. What I do, however, is melt down a tablespoon of coffee in a shot-glass topped with a water and drinking three of those at a time.

It's stuff like this which really make me realised how little regard I give to my body. I'm overweight and unhealthy. I'm a vegetarian, but I gorge on foods at times, merely out of boredom. I give little care to my physical appearance (small brush of a the hair, put on whatever's available). That said, I'm a physical clean freak. I constantly wash my hands, I shower every day and scrubs diligently, and sometimes I must wash my hair twice a day.

This makes me realise, again, the hypocrisy I have when applying my values onto my own life. I constantly encourage my family and close friends to stop smoking, help them eat healthier foods, tell them herbs that will help certain ailments (with what little knowledge I have) but I totally neglect my own. I try to be active to helping the local environment, but my garden is a tip. I've gone to other people's houses to help clean their rooms (this'll sound weird, but it's acutally a bonding session with friends!), or move things about in their houses - but my room is horrible. there is no floor space, the walls need a clean, and I have piles and piles of papers everywhere, and I wonder why I never sleep - it's too cluttered.

It's quite bewildering how procrastination stops me from actually applying good values onto one's life. I can't do it. So I spend nightime doing my work, cleaning my room, catching up on tasks because I'm so lazy during the day. Look at me now though - it's almost 4am and I'm online - not doing my jobs!!!

The coffee though, just shows it all. I'm an neglecting my body to help fix the laziness that's caused all this. The cycle is vicious. I'm AWAKE by night, and exhausted by day, to the cycle to get things done at night when I can't during the day gets worse.

What's more, I hate coffee.

Apologies for the rambling, blog buddies. I'm off to drink some peppermint tea to help with me stomach and finaly pack some ruddy boxes.

Awards to Blog Buddies!

Many, many thanks to Susan Moonroot for nominating me for the "I Love Your Blog" award! I must do likewise now.

The Rules for those receiving an award are:

  • The winner can put the logo on their blog
  • Link the person you received the award from
  • Nominate at least 7 other blogs
  • Put links of those blogs on yours
  • Leave a message on the blogs nominated

I'd like to show some love to:

  • Moonroot - Her blog shows her strength through troubled times and her dedication to a way of life "[living] lightly on the earth". No matter the times, her posts are always positives and thoughtful. I'm proud and honoured to call her a friend.
  • Lothlorien-Nemeton Seedgroup - Is an OBOD seedgroup facilitated by Adam and Mika who are two Kindred Souls charting their progress working at the Earth Sanctuary combining ecology, psychosynthesis and other aspects to created a beautiful and earth-loving school.
  • Engineering Judgement - Tom is an engineering student, combining his extensive knowledge and creativity, and decidedly Finnish-like insanity to make a reality to his creations. His blog charts his thoughts and often humourous ramblings. Plus he looks like the guy on the right ;-D
  • The Spiritual Journey of a Somerset Pagan - I've recently discovered Andy's blog through Moonroot, and find his updates funny and genuine. Give it a read!

And this is where I must draw the line... as a relative newcomer to Blogspot, I don't really know many other blogs (Mika and Adam have some others, however :) ) on blogspot bar some by some Artists I quite like, such as Frank Turner.

However, I wanted to show my love to you lot! Pass it on and share the appreciation!

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Macaroni Cheese

Macaroni Cheese!

About 1bl of cooked pasta (macaroni or penne) - or enough to make about a half to one inch thick layer in a large baking dish

For the sauce:
500ml of milk
Half an onion
Two cloves of garlic
Sprig of thyme

1.5oz of butter
1oz of flour

Pinch of cayenne pepper (or a bit more if you like that)
Pinch of nutmeg (or, don't do like me and put in about a tablespoon of it...)
Salt 'n Pepper
About 4oz of gratted cheddar, and maybe a little extra to sprinkle.
2.5oz of gratted parmesan
Something like a handful of 1cm thick cheddar cubes (I didn't have enough cheese for that, but it's a good idea nonetheless)

Right! I got this
recipe from VideoJug.
Preheat the oven to about 22oC. Then, in a saucepan heat up the milk in about a meadium heat and put in the onion, garlic and thyme and leave it on the heat to flavour it but take it off the heat before it boils.

In another saucepan, melt the butter with a wooden spoon and add the flour when it's all melted. Stir is well and then strain the milk, stir, add the cayenne pepper, nutmeg, salt 'n pepper and whisk until it thickens.

Take it off the heat and mix in the gratted cheddar, mixing until it melts then mixing in the parmesan, stirring well. In a large bowl, mix the pasta and sauce together, mixing well, then add the cubes and mix again.

Transfer it to a lare oven dish, sprinkle the remainder cheddar, spirinkle some pepper, and bake in the oven for about 20 minutes, or until it's brown on top and bubbling inside. And Serve!!

That should provide four people with a decent portion (like a side?) or it should give two people a good meal.

Enjoy :) I did.