Tuesday, 16 September 2008

"It's too early..."

Over the past few days, I've been violently sick, been getting ridiculous heartburn and migraines. I've also been staying up late almost every night as there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything.

I know what's been causin it however. It's drinking obscene amounts of coffee in order to stay away. I tried drinking ginseng tea, but that didn't work. What I do, however, is melt down a tablespoon of coffee in a shot-glass topped with a water and drinking three of those at a time.

It's stuff like this which really make me realised how little regard I give to my body. I'm overweight and unhealthy. I'm a vegetarian, but I gorge on foods at times, merely out of boredom. I give little care to my physical appearance (small brush of a the hair, put on whatever's available). That said, I'm a physical clean freak. I constantly wash my hands, I shower every day and scrubs diligently, and sometimes I must wash my hair twice a day.

This makes me realise, again, the hypocrisy I have when applying my values onto my own life. I constantly encourage my family and close friends to stop smoking, help them eat healthier foods, tell them herbs that will help certain ailments (with what little knowledge I have) but I totally neglect my own. I try to be active to helping the local environment, but my garden is a tip. I've gone to other people's houses to help clean their rooms (this'll sound weird, but it's acutally a bonding session with friends!), or move things about in their houses - but my room is horrible. there is no floor space, the walls need a clean, and I have piles and piles of papers everywhere, and I wonder why I never sleep - it's too cluttered.

It's quite bewildering how procrastination stops me from actually applying good values onto one's life. I can't do it. So I spend nightime doing my work, cleaning my room, catching up on tasks because I'm so lazy during the day. Look at me now though - it's almost 4am and I'm online - not doing my jobs!!!

The coffee though, just shows it all. I'm an neglecting my body to help fix the laziness that's caused all this. The cycle is vicious. I'm AWAKE by night, and exhausted by day, to the cycle to get things done at night when I can't during the day gets worse.

What's more, I hate coffee.

Apologies for the rambling, blog buddies. I'm off to drink some peppermint tea to help with me stomach and finaly pack some ruddy boxes.

1 comment:

Moonroot said...

I'm a terrible procrastinator too. I find it's worse when I don't actually want to do whatever it is I'm avoiding by procrastinating.

Here are my tips:
1. Stop with the coffee! If you're tired, sleep. You can catch up with your jobs when you're rested - you'll be much more efficient then and they'll go easier.
2. Make a list of what needs doing. Firstly that'll stop any feelings of overwhelm, because you don't have to remember it all in your head, and it gets the tasks into perpective. Secondly you can break jobs into chunks - not just 'tidy room', but 'tidy bedside table', 'clear junk from under bed' 'rearrange bookshelves neatly' etc - that also stops it seeming overwhelming. Finally each time you actually complete a task you can cross it off the list and feel like you're getting somewhere!
3. Try to tackle at least a couple of things a day, and don't let yourself ignore the ones you don't want to do. Perhaps do a challenging one and then reward yourself with an easy/pleasant one.

This is exactly what I'm doing now, since T left, as I seem to be completely overwhelmed with Big Stuff That Needs Doing. The list thing works! And enough sleep helps immeasurably.

Hope you're feeling better and the migraines etc have abated.