Two weeks and three days. That's how long I have before I enroll at the University of Wales Lampeter. I'm terrified.
I understand that it isn't the same as some people who are going far away, like to Birmingham, as Lampeter about an hour and a half away? It's the whole university experience that I'm scared off. Am I doing the right course? Well it's one I love. Though, religious studies/philosophical studies isn't something I'm going to get to use practically after Uni. So will it be 3 years and £15,000+ down the drain? I don't know.
Will I make friends? I'm alone and love my own company, but I crave company and I'm a very social animal when it really comes down to it.
No doubt it'll go perfectly, and I'll love it, but I still have fears.
This is a small initiation. It's living independently from home for the first time, being self-providing. It's the créme de la créme of education at the moment. This is me dedicating myself to a dicipline. This is serious.
At the same time however, I welcome the challenge. Beyond the apprehension, I'm excited, I'm full of energy. And I'm not leaving all my friends (who'll be just a couple of bus rides away), I've still got Neil, who's going as well.
This is new.
Sorry for not writing about anything significant, blog buddies! I just need to find somewhere to say this.
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2 comments:
This is significant, and it's very open and honest of you. You're experiencing what is perfectly natural at such a transitional time. This is a rite of passage in many ways, you're moving from one place into a new place on many and various levels and at the moment you are not sure where to place your feet, because it's all so new, unknown, and yet to be experienced. But it is an adventure and, as you say, you will love it. You will leave a new person, and I am also sure you will have a sense of direction around how to use all that you learn.
Paul, this IS significant. So please, blog about it as much as you like.
As Andy says, it is a rite of passage, and hopefully as Pagans we're aware of just how important those are.
I'm always apprehensive about doing new things so I fully understand how you're feeling. My helpful tip is: I've found that when you have strong feelings about something - anything - it's important to externalise them. You can either talk about them, write about them (here or in your private journal), act them out in a ritualised way or even draw/paint them (I've done that when I've not been able to verbalise things). Somehow just getting them out helps to gain perspective and emotional equilibrium.
But the people I know at the Uni you're going to totally love it there. I'm sure once you've settled in, you will too.
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